My friend’s voice on the phone is quiet. “I wonder if you might be too hard on yourself?” she says. I’ve just admitted my recent sloth and debauchery, my recurring impossible transition from the end of the academic year to the summer. Her voice is all whispery and kind, as though I am a horse who might spook, the words an answer to prayer, I think later. (I have asked for gentle lessons.) I know I am too hard on myself. I gauge my efforts harshly, often fall short. But something in her voice makes me think my friend is talking instead about what I ask of myself, what gets put on the list to work toward to begin with. How do we decide where to aim? How do we know if we’re asking too much of ourselves? I plan to take it slow, this putting back on of my list of expectations. I want to let myself slip into it like a well worn sweater, or soft shoes, nicely broken in. But I am thinking I may not want to don the list again in its entirety. Maybe I will cut off the sleeves, wear new orange socks. Maybe I’ll just go to Stein Mart and poke around a bit.
No Holds Barred
64 at 64—To trusting more (and more!)
No Holds Barred 
I am too hard on myself too and i have learnt that if i am consistently in a guilty mood, it means i am being extremely hard on myself. Its good to have high aims from oneself but if they don’t meet up, guilt becomes just another mechanism to waste more time, thus its better to smile through it.. :)
It does pay to step back a little and rethink our goals Riba. A sleeveless sweater isn’t such a bad option you know. Especially paired with cheerful orange socks :-)
Thank you, Nakularora. Your approach of just smiling through it sounds like a wise one! :)
Madhu, your note made me grin. And a sleeveless sweater with bright orange socks sounds like a good idea for Palm Springs, too! Hee hee hee. ;-)
Thank you!
in case there are socks, would you please let us know just how orange (or any color) they are? And have fun poking around the store. I like the versatility of your imaginary sleeveless sweater. Not to hot and not too cold. But tres cool, like you, Riba. : )
Yes, well, poking around the store and the sleevelessness of the sweater just kinda happened in the writing.
But if you were here, my dear, I might try to get you to go with me to today’s sale! ;-)
Oh, and cool? Really? Me??!!!???! What an extraordinary thing to hear. I will relish that “take” and the possibility of it for the rest of the day, Laurie. At least! :)
hah, I’m a terrible shopper and Stein Mart makes me sweat. However, you are the nappy dresser and have an eye for flair and fashion value. : )