I am on Zoom. Three people in a row say how thrilled they are at the progress we are making here in the United States, the protests, knowing black lives matter. I can feel their buoyancy. I sit still, stunned, uncomfortable in my skin because I feel so far away from them, on the other side of the world, on another planet. I am terrified, angry, anxious. Hopeful, yes—but nowhere near being able to touch “thrilled.” Later, I wonder if I was judging their excitement, naming it naïveté without knowing I was. Or was it only that while I believed in the promise of the protests I could not trust they would lead to real change? Or maybe I only need to be able to embrace the good when it comes, more readily, more fully than I do? Or maybe the distance and discomfort I felt was only because I live in all the shades of gray.
In hindsight you’re skepticism was accurate. Here’s to a happy and healthy New Year.
Does this mean you are assuming real change for black people and people of color in this country is NOT going to happen? Because I am still hoping we will begin to truly address the inequity. I think you are, too, but maybe you say this because we have not yet made concrete progress? And yes—hear hear to a happy and healthy new year for us all, Bumba! Thanks for coming by and for your likes. I always appreciate you in this. :)