They are both still alive in the morning one sprawled across the carpet in my room in a patch of sun. I know how lucky I am because I was not loving when I said good night and if one of them had died I’d have to carry that deep regret all my days.
I walk back down the hallway to my room and there is Venus rising big and bright above the ridge the sky just now growing light. Again, this unlooked for gift sweet recompense for interrupted sleep echoes of the last day of our year a triad now of blessings.
I am up for my mother in the dark. In between trips down the hall to her I sit on the edge of my bed wait to see if she settles again and see the fat crescent moon rising above the ridge the whole rim of the moon lit up, too my big silver lining I would have been asleep missed this magic. It is light when I go back to bed the moon a long, lovely sliver in the sky penultimate day of her cycle daylight thinnest sickle of her a second blessing this last morning of our year.
Those of you who have been with me here for a long time will know I often fall behind and catch up at the end of my year in order to meet my goal of writing one blog post for each year I’ve been alive.
This year has held extraordinary circumstances for us all, and I am indeed extraordinarily behind. I am trying to be kind to myself, to reach for ways to let life be a tiny bit easier. I don’t know if I can let myself “fail” in this. But I think I need to be open to the possibility since I would have to post 4 times each week in order to catch up.
So. I think I am writing to apologize to you for whichever way this falls out. I apologize in advance if I am not able to meet my goal and for going “missing” for much of ths year. (I had no idea I’d posted so few times!) And I apologize in advance in case I do make efforts to catch up, for the crazed flurry of posts I might inundate you with in the coming weeks.
I want to thank you, too, as always, for being my dear readers. However the rest of my sixty-third year unfolds, thank you. May life be as gentle with you as possible. And here’s to being together when I’m sixty-four. (Yes, there is a song in that!)